…and its coverage of the Yankees’ victory last night (whoo! whew!)—something about the Glove having to cover a Yankees’ World Series win makes me feel good about the world—when I came across a particularly odd way to describe a home run by Hideki Matsui.

Two innings later came the splashes of beer in the right-field stands, the liquids arcing over the fans grateful to receive yet another baseball into the place where popups become homers.

And I thought, wait a minute! Could it be? Dare I hope?

Only one person could torture the language like that.

So I checked out the byline and it was!

Only Amalie Benjamin could write so weirdly badly—by which I mean not just badly, but badly in a weird, hard-to-explain-why-it’s-so-bad-but-still-it-makes-you-wince kind of way.

I should have realized it was she before, when she wrote of Mark Teixeira’s monster home run to right-center field,

And the life continued, as the ball off Teixeira’s bat flew out to open the next inning, on the second offering from Martinez.

As the ball off Teixeira’s bat flew?