That’s what Alan Dershowitz once said of billionaire recluse Jeffrey Epstein, who has given some $30 milllion to Harvard.
But apparently, he likes getting rub-and-tugs from underage girls even moreâgirls aged “sixteen or seventeen at most,” according to his houseman, Jose Alessi. (To whom fell the ghastly work of washing off Epstein’s sex toys.)
The Smoking Gun has posted the affidavit prepared in Epstein’s arrest, and, well, let’s just say it’s a lot dirtier than the Starr Report.
Epstein’s predicament makes it hard to read lines like these from the Crimson in quite the same way one did before.
University officials seem to appreciate Epsteinâs proclivity to privacy, and did not return repeated phone calls requesting information about his donation.
Epstein himself also declined to comment for this article. His staff say he has never granted an official interview to a member of the press.
âHe was very anxious to make this donation anonymously,â Dershowitz says.
Apparently Epstein has been making quite a few donations privately.
Let’s play a little Mad Libs with some more text from the Crimson:
Yet Epstein appears interested in more than the large collection of planes, trains and automobiles which his fortune has allowed him to amassâand he has found Harvard the perfect staging ground for his _________ pursuits.
Networking with the Universityâs greatest and most well-known _______, he has spurred research through both discussion and ________ he has contributed to various _______âmost often in the _________.
I am sure Epstein’s friends at Harvard will rush to defend him. (Dershowitz, that great advocate for Larry Summers, O.J. Simpson and Claus von Bulow, is now part of Epstein’s legal team.) That’s the kind of friendship really large amounts of money can buy.
But because I think the obscene wealth of a handful of Americans is a real problem for this country, I will say this: Few things in life are as satisying as seeing a hedge-fund billionaire take a fall.